i dont know whats happening to me.
i may seem strong and happy ouside.
but my heart aches every minute.
sigh.
and yesterday the most terrible thing happened.
my eyes became swollen, i dont really know why.
its only one eye and its the outside la.
so my dad came out with gis idea from putting the mopiko.
and it kinda burnt my eyelids can. so soon i fell asleep.
in the middle of the night, i did not know what happened.
cant rmb la.
i screamed and screamed.
like something has gotten over.
i dont know what.
that was the cause of everyone's wake.
it ended up that my dad had to change place with keith
after i calm down.
cos i was sleeping with keith before that.
i calmed down and fell asleep straight.

in the morning, mum woke me up.
but i kinda forgot what happened .
i was surprised that i was sleeping with dad.
so i asked mum, why was dad sleeping with me?
she looked at me with that pissed off face.
like i'm really useless.
and said, i thik you better go back to your room and sleep next time.
dont shout and scream in the night like crazy woman.
suddenly, memories of me shouting flowed back.
but till now, i still dont know the cause of my shouting, i guess it should be my bro.
this incident made me think abt everything that has been happening.
and how each and everyone had the impact on me.
tears started flowing from my heart.
i thought and thought.
but i really dont know what i should do.
usually, i had you. in the past.
now i'm alone fighting all these things.
i will continue to stuggle till the very end.
thanks dad.
i know you're best.